I'm pretty sure my baby brother is a genius

He may only be 2, but holy shit is the kid bright.

First: He plays chess.  No, not he plays with the pieces... he fucking knows the names of each piece (sadly his older brother can not claim the same, but castle and horse should BE what they are called), how each piece moves.  He hasn't won any games yet, but hell, I've never won against my dad either.  So sadly our records are kind of tied.

Second: My mother is on him about ordering things for himself.  Expressing himself.  On a flight home the flight attendant asked my mother what he wanted to drink he replied "Pepsi, no ice, please".

Third: He is nobody's fool.  While in my car he started playing with the window button.  Up, down, up, down, up, down.... you get it.  Well when I was able to distract him with horses I clicked on the window lock.  When he went back to the window and gave a sigh of frustration I said "SOrry, they must be broken", he glared at me and replied "No you locked them like Daddy does."

Finally: When we aren't sure what he is and is not allowed to do he will say "Mommy says yes" or "Mommy says no", as to what he is usually allowed.  When my mother told him he had to have a nap.  "Mommy says no."  "I am Mommy you little shit."

Close Case-man, but no cigar.  That was a rookie error.  You can't uses mommy says on mommy.

Shopping

I grocery shop a lot.  I prefer things that have not been frozen so generally every couple days I hit the grocery store.  Now, I refuse to go to the stores with the quarter deposit.

Now I know, what is the big deal, right?  But I find this system more than a little insulting.  First off it presupposes that I am too fucking lazy to put things back where they belong (shut up C).  But as if that weren't bad enough they think I am so fucking cheap that a quarter is going to motivate me.

I know they say it saves us money.  Well sure, I guess they can save you three cents on the jumbo package of toilet paper by not spending the money to pay someone to gather those carts.  Yep, that is a job that is no more.  I won't use self check outs either, or shop where they have them.  Slowly but surely our "convenience" and money saving tips are causing higher unemployment, and to tell you the truth, well, it pisses me off.  And as for passing the savings down, really?  More people unemployed, on assistance, and guess whose fucking taxes go up? Where is my three cents on toilet paper really getting me ahead.  I tend to shop at Sobey's.  24 hours, where they bag your groceries for you, don't hold my quarter hostage, and they fucking smile and are pleasant.  Why?  Perhaps because they are not stuck making minimum wage as management tries to make them redundant.

   Yeah, I wasn't sure where I was going with this rant either...

Le sigh

Some times people are exhausting.  Now don't get me wrong, I love my best friend.  I have literally known him my entire life.  His parents and my parents were friends before they even had us.  That being said, I have begun noticing the changes.  For one thing, he is always at some stage of drunkenness.  I don't mean to be a judgmental prick, but if we are going some place he can't drink, he won't go.  Now I've always known Jake likes to party.  But there are signs that definitely worry me.

How do you tell someone you partied with that he is totally out of control?  Should you?  Thing is, he and his cunt of a girlfriend, well that is what they seem to do.  They get drunk every night.

C thinks I should just stay out of it, but this is someone I have known my entire life.  What kind of a friend sees someone headed over a cliff and doesn't shout a warning?

Anyone with any advice?  

Carbon footprint my ass

   I must have looked stupid, that is the only thing I can think of. There is no other explanation for how these people really thought I would buy into their program....

Knock knock Hello, sir. I know you, like most of us, are very concerned about he environment.

:Well yes, I am. (Hoping no one realizes the three cars in the driveway belong to the two people in this apartment).

: Our company is here for people like you. Responsible people who want to reduce, if not eliminate their carbon footprint.

Now I am not a complete Jerk. I am all for reducing my carbon foot print and all that shit, but eliminate.... yeah, I am not a vegan tree hugger either.

: For $25.00 a month our company ensures that all the energy you use in your home comes from renewable resources. (Sounds good until my brain actually kicked in)

: How?

She blinked at me for a minute, like she was shocked I would ask. :Well, we make sure all the power coming in to your home comes from wind, or solar power.

:Yeah, but how? As far as I know there is no possible way to separate my power from everyone elses.

: But you reduce your carbon footprint...

:Is the money used to support the growth of renewable energy?

: Well, no, we just... We make sure all the energy you use comes from renewable resources

: So basically on paper I am a good green consumer, but I'm just passing off my carbon footprint to others?

To the girl who I probably ruined her ideal summer job of helping the environment: I really am sorry, but I'm not paying you $25.00 a month to pretend I am helping the environment.

Going green is the new religion.

Snoopophobia

   Okay, now that I am home for the summer a few things have changed.  One, we let go our cleaning lady.  Wow, don't I sound so uber posh.  Okay.... we stoped the two hours she comes to our house to dust, wash floors, etc.  It's not like we don't clean up after ourselves, but with C working up to a 72 hour work week and me busy with school we decided we did not want to spend what little spare time we had cleaning.  Well, technically C didn't.  I would maybe dust once a year if it were up to me.  But C does have bad dust allergies so he is much bigger on regular upkeep.
   The thing is... I hate having someone in my space.
   I fear my privacy being invaded.  I have considered one of these:

   If you have read my blog before you may have noticed I have a tenancy to be

A tad possessive.  Never more true than when I feel my privacy is invaded.  I do not let people go through my phone, my pictures on my phone or camera, my browser history.  And I sure as fuck hate some woman I do not know peeking in my closets and drawers.  

C thinks it is ego to think that someone is going to snoop.  After all, what makes me so fucking interesting?

So a question for you all... Have you ever snooped?  

I have been tempted a few times.  Once I was "allowed" to go on a website to leave a message and snooped around, but that was not spying on personal things.

Personal shit.... not so much.  Probably because the one time I did, searching for a razor, found in my dad's shaving kit picture of my mom.  (And I really DON'T want to talk about that).

Bosses can be such ass holes

Not all bosses are ass holes.

 I really hate employers who feel superior to their employees. After my experiences with cunt-face last year I really started to hear some horror stories about how some employers to treat their employees who are “lucky” enough to have a job. First, it is not luck. It is work and perseverance that gets a person a job. No one ever knocked at my door and offered me work. No one ever paid me to watch The Price is Right in my boxers. We get a pay check because we do the work.

My friend has a boss that tries to give “friendly advice on how to get ahead in life”. His advice is to put half of each paycheck in the bank. She makes 12 dollars and hour and is a single mom.... right. But he constantly gives her advice, like she was living like a millionaire and tossing money out on designer names. I know when he does this she feels like she has to tolerate it because he is her boss. But you know the only commentary your boss should make in how you spend your pay cheque... none.

C's boss is a piece of work. He treats the guys under him like they are a bunch of idiots and anyone could do their job. His favorite joke is “what do you say to someone with an IQ of 50? Nice weld.” Cue obligatory laughter. He also has a habit of asking in front of the other workers if one of them is retarded, leading to nice names like Short bus, and comments like “Where is your helmet?” They point to their welding helmet, “No not that one, that one.” Fucking stunning wit, huh? Amazing he is not on stage doing stand up. C just says if he wants to pay an idiot what he pays him, C will gladly play the idiot and laugh all the way to the bank.

Hemlock Grove review..... kind of.

So I am hooked on the Netflix series.
It has NOTHING to do with the fact that I have decided the two lead men would look so freaking hot together.... no....not at all.

 Peter up above, played by Landon Liboiron and Roman played by Bill Skarsgård.  Now Bill may look a little familiar to you.


Look down, his brother Alexander from True Blood.  ahhhhhh, Celebrity crush overload.  But the truth is Bill reminds me of someone else.  Someone who I find unbelievably sexy in a way I cannot understand.  Look down, way down

Steve Buscemi.  Don't ask me why, I have strange taste in men, but I find him unbelievably sexy, especially when I was younger and still really into older men.









Oh, right.  And the show Hemlock grove.... about werewolves and vamps and other supernatural forces or something or another.  But did you look at the lead actors?