Saturday, July 5, 2014

Dead beat parents

Now, most of these will be directed to fathers, and that is because it is my experience. I am not claiming deadbeat mothers are any better, nor denying their existence. In fact of the four people who contributed to the list one of them did have a dead beat mother, and one dead beat parents all together.

So you decided to be an absentee father, and now that your kid is grown you cannot understand why your attempts to build a quasi-father-son relationship is not working. Here are some tips on what not to say to the child who grew up while you were too busy to be a father.
1. Don't talk about my mother. Ever. Unless it is to comment on how hard it must have been raising me without you helping,and what an amazing job she did.
2. Do not blame the courts' bias towards mothers for your meager visitation rights if you did not
a) Actively petition the court to more visitation or
b) Did not even take advantage of the visitation you had.

The cry of the dead beat. Always someone else's fault.
3. Don't disapprove of how I was raised. Your opportunity to see that I was "raised right" has long passed. If you chose not to take part in raising me, don't presume for a fucking second that you have the right to bitch about those who DID see fit to raise me.
4. Don't talk to me about how your child support was wasted. I had a roof over my head and food in my stomach. THAT is what child support is for.
5. Realize that I do not owe you anything. You made decisions. If you have come to regret them, so be it. If I choose to let you be part of my life do not feel that it is because I owe you that. Nope. It is because my mother raised me to be kind to those, even those who really don't deserve it.

Chris got in at one

See, Thursday was a cool night. I am trying to save money when I can, so the window was open for the cool breeze rather than the air conditioning.  It was around 5:30ish when "Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonk."
This horn just started, and kept fucking going. I waited, five minutes before admitting defeat and that  spending a few hours in bed with C the morning he gets home was just not going to happen. So I put on a pot of coffee for a change. Yep, it is the big change up when I go from my single serve Tassimo to the big coffee pot.
So it was not a great homecoming. But today we went to a rodeo with my friend Mel from school. Tomorrow we are having a barbecue at Kay's.  Yay for me, my personal designated driver is home, I can drink again!
Yeah, that special moment you know you are keeping him.

On Monday we are going to Wild Water Works with Ali and Kate. I am starting to wonder if I will get any one on one time with him on these weeks.