It is that time of year, again.

And new year's resolutions are either being long forgotten, or held too.

Now don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with trying to make personal improvements, regardless of what time of a year you choose it. BUT around two weeks in is when those who have stuck too their resolution start deciding that it is their personal mission to turn their resolutions into other people's lifestyles.

I am so sick of hearing people talk about how they quit smoking cold turkey, or how since exercising the last two weeks they have SOOO much more energy. Or how they sleep better since giving up pop/caffeine/tea.

We get it. You had a bad habit that was bad for YOU. People can do the same thing YOU had a problem with in moderation.

With regards to personal growth, keep it personal. Make it about you. And congratulations on your self improvement.

 Me? Nah. Hell if I get much better I'll intimidate C;)

Tattoos

I could not find a pic of one on the neck, hopefully that means there is only one guy quite that pathetic out there.

So what is the biggest douche bag tattoo you have ever seen?  I mean the one that would have you breaking off friendships, deny the best sex of your life, deny a family member.  I saw a guy on the weekend, who, in large letters on his neck were the stylized words "Hard Core".  Really, a clear cut sign that he was not.  What the fuck was he thinking?  He may as well have "low self-esteem" or "small penis" branded on his forehead.

I swear to god, to represent his true nature:

Now do not get me wrong, I love the expression of self in tattoos.  It is when people use them in place of an actual personality, or like they are an accomplishment in themselves that I think, FUCK ME, have you got your priorities screwed up.

Because I get my self esteem off being a canvas for someone else's art.

Letter to a douche bag

Okay, I'm glad you are on vacation.  Good for you.  I'm sure you work hard all year for your three weeks vacation.  Just one little thing....

When you are processing a fucking STUDENT line of credit, and you won't be back until well after the start of the school year, MAYBE put it on the "process before vacation" file.  FUCKING IDIOT!

T is for

Too much information.
Now I know not everything that seems a big deal to some people is a big deal to anyone else.... but some things cannot just be shrugged away.

Today my boss was interviewing for a grunt.  You know someone who does all the grunt work (like me), but content to be just that.  Anyway, this guy goes into his interview and starts to leave.  "How did it go?" I asked.
"They asked me for a police check", he seemed a little upset.
"They do that with everyone," my co-worker assured him.
"Are they just checking for warrants, or like a full record?"
   Most people I know have some record or another.  Nothing to get put away for, usually a public drunkenness or possession charge.  "So long as it's not too bad you'll be okay."
   "Oh, good," he says.  "Nothing really, just a few domestic violence charges."  He shrugs like it is nothing.

Really dude?  THAT is no big deal to you?  I'm thinking the main reason they do a police check is to weed out those who either are drug dealers or those with violence issues, especially among those with no voice to speak out.  Oh, creepy, creepy, creepy.  I think on to the next interview.

I is for

Ingratitude.  Do you know these kinds of people?  Always asking for help, never appreciating it?  Never thinking people give them enough help?

Okay.... my paternal grandfather's family is fucking weird.  My mother's cousin, who used to be normal, in the last 4 years has gone from Lovely yet religious person, to religious douche bag.  IMHO.  It started when she met her now-husband.  They got pregnant immediately (love at first sight.... yeah, okay).  She had a daughter. They never got married, because he could not afford to give her the wedding she deserved.   He took parental leave, and the family as a whole ended up on welfare when his company went tits up while he was on leave.  And she got pregnant.... again, and again, and again.... and now again.

So recently welfare cut him off.  That saying they still support her and her 4+ kids, but lessened the cheque by his amount.  She wrote on Facebook how it is unreasonable for the government to expect him to get a job when they have soon to be 5 children to raise.  She cannot handle them on her own.  See. they did not PLAN 5 children, they just think the Lord is their birth control.

So last year when they cut him off. she put out a call on Facebook for money.... REALLY.  A "give to the cause".  That was when she was on bed-rest with baby 4... people felt bad, and actually gave her money to keep him home with the three kids.  Since then she gave birth, got pregnant again and has recently commented that "Charity from my family and Christian family has been cut almost in half.... I guess everyone is having it tough and can't give as much as they would like to."  Or they are getting sick of sponges.... nah.... let's blame the economy.  Funny thing is, she never thanked the people who gave them money.  She thanked the Lord for moving people to give her money.  So people give her money , God did it.... people giving her less money.... economies fault.

So, last month was her 2nd kid's 4th birthday.  She put on facebook how she was sad she could not afford to make him a cake.  So my mom baked a cake with my borther and brought it along with a present.  (Once upon a time they were really close).  After they left she put out a post on facebook.  "Wow, my cousin brought over a cake for Micah and a present.  My kids are so cute.  We always bake from scratch, but they still loved the cake made from mix, love you Cuz."   Yeah.... that is her idea of gratitude.  "Better than nothing, but not nearly what I deserve."

They did finally get married.  When she was 8 months pregnant with their third child the church gave them the wedding of her dreams.  I guess they could have put that money into a food bank, or something, but hey, so long as she got the wedding of her dreams.  The Lord is great:P

D - is for the invention that is gonna earn me millions

The Douche-bag Deterring collar.

What does it do, you ask.  Well, it is still in the innovation stage, buut as near as I can see you program this device with the phrases you never want to hear come out of your mouth.

Now there will be defaults like:

"When you have been on the planet as long as I have..." *zap*

"When I was your age..." *zap*

"Kids today just don't listen (or understand, comprehend, etc.)..."*zap*

It amazes me that a generation of "Don't trust anybody over thirty." now shouts it's protests that anyone under 30 are a bunch of out of control hooligans who will not listen and learn from other's mistakes.  Show me, please, a single generation that ever has.

So in short, for those of you who do not want to be the people you roll your eyes at today, I am accepting pre-orders.  The sooner you begin your training, the easier it will be.