Monday, March 19, 2012

Special is as special does

Helping my parents on Sunday. They are in the process of the big move. Out to the country. So I enlisted C's help, and he's okay with it because it's work, not a social thing. C's a worker bee. So long as he is busy he's quite content. Anyway, so the family is in and out of the house, they are fully downsizing so family is picking up tables and desks and beds,etc. that my parents aren't taking with them.
 I love my Nonna. She's just wonderful... As a grandmother. Mother-in-law.... Yeah, not so much. Her and my mother have a somewhat strained relationship. See, if my dad makes decisions she would not make for him, it's my mother's influence. Like them not getting married, having children so late in life. Blah blah, blah. Over the years the have learned to peacefully co-exist. The key is to understand first and foremost, she is my dad's mother. What that means is that no one will ever be good enough for him. And that while her Catholicism may be skewed to her advantage, she is still catholic, or as C.J. calls it "the C word".

 So she came and made a comment about how it was nice that my "special friend" would help them. That is instead of boyfriend he is my "special friend". I am fairly certain she knows that this idea she has that I will find some nice Italian girl is never going to happen, but she still likes to pretend that C is just a friend, a roommate. So the CJ says that he doesn't like Nonna calling him that. I told him. Or to worry. She's just Nonna, stuck in her ways. "I still don't think it's nice calling him retarded.". Not that kind of special CJ.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

I love the holidays

So March 14th is a steak and blowjob appreciation day.  Did anyone else hear about this?

So ..... yeah.  Anyway...I wasn't hungry.

I was just wondering.... does this mean they are not appreciated every other day?


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I know stupid people #2

And I'm not just bragging.  I have a friend named Jason.  Now Jason is a really nice, NICE guy.  Totally open, and has the best sense of humor, even when the jokes are directed at him.  And he is totally clueless when it comes to girls.  He maybe (okay he is) DAMN hot, he could not get a serious girlfriend until recently.  Him and his girlfriend have been together for 3 months.  I think the reason she is able to put up with him is she is a preschool teacher, so being around people all day, every day, who have no social boundaries, Jason sticks out less.
   Now their first fight....

She came home with an embarrassing problem really upset.  So with jokes and teasing he got her to talk and they laughed together... all was right with the world.  Then before he goes to bed Jason, thinking to spread his humor wrote on Facebook : Jason ------ thinks it is really funny that his girlfriend has head lice.

She did not see it until her lunch break.  Now Jason has, well over 500 FB friends.  Friends at school, mutual friends of the couple, friends at his work, friends at her work, his extended family, the list goes on and on.  He cannot understand why she is mad.  REALLY.  He is not playing dumb.  To his mind, since they were talking about it, laughing about it, why could he not let anyone and everyone else in on the joke.

"Really, she got mad at that?" I said
"I know right,"  some people are just completely clueless.

Friday, March 9, 2012

C's sense of humor

C has a very different sense of humor.  He is funny.  But his humor is more private, quieter.  It took me a while to realize when he actually was telling a joke.  Well, I hope you all get why this was funny, at least to me.  My fave thing on TV is actually a production company's stamp.
It just cracks me up.  Anyway, this guy stops to ask directions in the mall.  This guy was wearing a REALLY bad rug.  For starters what was left of his hair was white, and perched atop his head was a black toupee.  As he walked off C says "That's one bad hat Harry."  It did me in, I could not stop laughing like a lunatic.
Okay maybe it was not kind.... but fuck it was funny.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

A day full of fail

Last night I drank way too much.  I don't mean "I drank a little too much", I mean I drank like a fucking idiot.  Feeling like shit today, not because of hangover, pretty sure I fall under the category of still drunk.  I took a bus in to school today for that reason.  I felt like shit because I have no idea what I did.  C was at work.  I never drink alone.  Somehow being reassured of what an asshole you were last night by eye witnesses at hand is a lot easier than not knowing at all.  I woke in bed.  I was passed out, er, I mean sleeping by the time C got home.  My morning was spent honing my investigative skills.  No phone calls on my iPhone, this is good.  No posts (that I can find) on social sites.  I check my ereader.   Duhn, duhn, duhn... three chapters ahead of where I remember leading off.  I appears I spent my drunken hours reading....

Oh the humiliation.

Then yesterday....Oh, the shame. I went by my old work to pick up my T4 tax form. As I stand there I'm chatting to one of my old bosses a client walks in. Being in the familiar atmosphere of my old job I just click "ON" to work mode. "Hi, how are we doing today?" with a great big friendly ass smile on my face. Of course to this guy I was a total stranger, unconnected with the clinic. I turned around quickly. "Stop hitting on our clients," my ex- boss says. "I can't believe I did that," face palm. I usually answer that straight guy bullshit "I'm okay with gay guys so long as they don't hit on me" by saying "Why would we?"  No doubt this guy thinks I was doing exactly that.  No dude, I'm just a loser who forgot he doesn't work here anymore.

Last, wow, yesterday was a harsh day,

My friend broke up with his boyfriend of about a month, then got mad a day later seeing him in "MY club".  How dare he?  And with his new fuck buddy.  *Sigh*  It is hard to be supportive when your friend is being an idiot.  You broke up, get over it.  Gay bars are vile places for the newly broken heart. There is something about a room full of all your past mistakes that make you feel more lonely.  Oh, wait.... is that guy new?  

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Love at first sight

Do you believe in it.  I don't.  Because it only applies if the couple stay together.  But at first sight you can feel attraction, lust, a pull (which comes from below the waist).  Sure you can try to say it is something more romantic.  But in the end how can you love somebody without knowing anything beyond how they look?
My grandma claims the moment she laid eyes on my grandpa it was love at first sight.  in her mind she said she told herself :  "That is the man I am going to marry."  That is her story.  Then I found out something new.  My grandparents were married three months after they met.  3 fucking months!  Wow.  And they've been together almost 45 years.  Maybe there is something to the whole love at first sight.

Wait..... You were married in November and had my Aunt in May.....Six months later.  I'm no math genius but....

Okay Grandma.... We'll call it love at first sight if it makes you feel better.

Monday, March 5, 2012


I have an interview in Guelph for the OVC.  Go me!  My boss also received a reference check from Charlottetown.  It is all coming together quite nicely.  After weeks of feeling out of control of my future here it is handed back to me.
Problem : I was booked to work on day of interview.  No one would take my shift.  Are you fucking kidding me?  I take anyone's shift if asked.  I have changed plans to help cover shifts and not one person will take my shift for a fucking college interview?  I work with douche bags.  Passive-aggressive douche bags.  Now I suppose I COULD reschedule, but I do not think hat makes a good impression.  So I talked to my schedule boss, and he said he would work around me, but I could tell he was a bit annoyed that no one would cover my shift.  Have I mentioned how icy it has been there?  I get on fine with office management and vets, other vet asses, not so much.  It was great when I was all "Hey no problem, I'll take the shit jobs and you get the glory jobs" changed to "Fuck you, YOU do the kennels, I'll take admittance."  Competition can be a bitch.
   Ali asked me out to celebrate, and off we went.  I was not going to text C with the news.  He guessed though when he came home and I was gone.  He called me and even offered to pick me up and drive Ali home.  The rest of the weekend went really well.  I'm happy.  I feel in control.  I can do this.  I can make a good impression.

Any tips would taken with gratitude.