Thursday, October 20, 2011

Thanksgiving weekends

So on Sunday we went to my Aunt's.  Now my mom usually does the thanksgiving thing, but had no desire to this year, so my grandma was going to.  Then she put her back out.  So to my Aunt.  Now, I know I am supposed to love my whole family.  I have been told I love my Aunt Crystal.  I do not.  She is an utter and absolute total bitch.  She "suffers" from depression.  Now I put that in quotes, because it seems to me she rather enjoys her depression while everyone else suffers from her depression.  See, her depression is a brutal disease where she can say anything she wants sans consequences.  She is just being "honest" and everyone gets the benefit of her honesty.  The whole world gets to here her opinions and CANNOT be offended because she is "Ill".  BUT god fucking forbid you have an opinion of HER that she disagrees with.  Then you are being a major asshole and driving her into the dreaded relapse.
While she gets to wax on about her ideas about homosexuality being too socially acceptable and biracial mixing just being wrong you have to ignore.  The entire family plays this game.  Auntie Crystal is "delicate".   No, she is a bitch!  And her main whipping boy tends to be my mom.  Probably because the younger brother long ago stopped giving anything she said credence at all, so to save her feeling she bullies the one who will not fight back.  My mom is a peace keeper.  Always has been.  She keeps the peace in her and dad's family too.  But some times you want to just say FUCK mom tell her to shut the fuck up already.

Okay, So it happened.  Now before you think it, I have hugely backed off him.  This is not my fault, not really anyway.  Yes, he went down to his parents' house for the long weekend and come Sunday he just told them.  It did not go well.  Surprisingly enough C is quite settled about the whole thing.  But I feel somewhat guilty. On the other hand I also feel relieved and like he now has something more invested. Does that make me a total dick? Probably, but who wants to be with someone who can't be happy to be with you and never goes anywhere "straight" with you because god forbid it get back to the parental units what, or who he's doing over here in the big bad city. C never exactly told me everything that happened or was said, but his parents are no longer speaking to him. Is it wrong that I think he should be relieved rather than upset? I know easy to say when it is not your family... but still I don't get it. On the plus side he seems much more relaxed than I would be. He says because he knew exactly what was going to happen when he told them. Part of me is kind of afraid that he may start to resent me if this the end of his relationship with his parents, but he says it won't happen, and that in the end he knew what it would come down to.

Oops, I thought I published this a week ago.  My bad.  Sorry for the delay.


  1. I just looooove when people use "honest" interchangably with "assy". As if under the color of honesty, tact, compassion and reason can be thrown out the door.

    Regarding C, I would imagine even in the unsettled state of a less than desired reaction to the news, just having such a major part of oneself not to be some big ass secret between people ya love and who are important in your life must be like a weight lifted off of ya. I'm glad to hear he's at peace with himself over his decision to spill. (Didja feel that? It was my good vibe sent north that his parents will quickly come to a true place of peace and acceptance to his news) If things don't take a turn with his parents the only place resentment has a home is with is parents, in my opinion.

  2. Yes BBG - it's kinda like when people say "i'm just being/playing the devil's advocate" when what they're actually doing is disagreeing with you but they're not big enough to just stand up and say it - they have to take a different role in order to do so.

  3. what was funny was that i knew you were canadian and that i \was reading a thanxgiving post.

    this is a hard struggle jamie ... life is full of them ...

  4. Sweetie I can't believe we have sides of our families that are cursed! I know it's mean to say but I've been dying to bake some family get-together cookies laced with cyanide. Just for the "delicate and special" Aunts.
    Now about C, his family needs time to grapple with it, and so does he. The thought that he might resent you is not remote, in the beginning, but trust me, it is better off he had removed that burden off his chest now than never. In time, it's the best to deal with the truth for everyone. Hang on love!

  5. So maybe just like C bit the bullet and told his parents maybe you should bite and tell the Aunt to fuck off .... ?

    Just sayin'

  6. I would personally love nothing better. But if I do then I would be in trouble with my mom. My mom hates being the bad guy, and unfortunately has been put in spots with CJ's lack of a filter.