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Monday, June 18, 2012

Happy Father's Day Douche bag

So, I went to my parents and celebrated my Dad.  Then I went home and started thinking (always dangerous) of my relationship with my biological father.  I thought of his birthday in March, and how our last interaction had not been a total disaster.  Hell, but our standards it was practically a magical moment.  So I figured what the hell give the guy a call, it's father's day.
It started off okay, I asked him how his day went.  He had mentioned how he and my brother had taken their families over to my grandfather's house.  It was a bit awkward, because the obvious thing is I had not been invited.  But really, it was with my grandfather, so he saved me from having to come up with an excuse not to go.
That's when it happened.  Looking back I huge over reacted.  Because in all honestly now I don't think he meant to be mean... but that almost makes it worse.  "We would have invited you along, but it was all couples, and we wouldn't want you to feel out because you are single."  Single?  When people wonder why gays fight for marriage and recognition, I can't even get my father to acknowledge that not being with a woman does not make me single.
Well, when Jamie gets stung, he fights back.  So I mentioned it not being a big deal because I was with my real family anyway, which, looking back was an asshole thing to say.
I was on another blog making some comments about his blog post about father's who do not try to raise their sons, yet feel the right to comment on their sons sexuality.  It was a big talk on how over the relationship with my father I am.  Oh, I looked back at my three comments  : The boy doth protest too much.

18 comments:

  1. *hugs* I'm sorry to hear that you and your dad don't get along too well... Some relationships are difficult and don't work out how we wish they would.

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    1. Sweet, thanks. But make no mistakes, my DAD is awesome, my biological father is a douche;)

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  2. My dads in Puerto Rico and although he did not raise me we get along pretty good. I call him from time to time and we b.s. on the phone it's always a nice experience. The rest of my family that is here are the main problem. Aside from my immediate family which consists of my wife and 2 daughters the rest of my family including my mother can all rot in hell lol. I loathe them to the very marrow of my bones. Nothing but a bunch of gossiping big mouthed trouble makers.

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    1. I wish sometimes I could choose my family. Though I kinda got lucky in my immediate family, not counting biology.

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  3. One of my daughter is gay and when she told her mom she made a big stink about it and even cried! When she told me when I got home that day my reply was I don't give a shit lol. I have never homophobic nor do I care what any individuals sexual preference is or what you do in your bedroom. Somehow none of that seems to have a direct effect on my.

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    1. That's awesome, Chat. I agree, the only people somebody's sexuality really should effect are the person and their partner.

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  4. Oh I'm sorry Jamie, dads can be such arseholes.
    In my experience, a lot of fathers who haven't been actively involved with their children, still think that they have the right to comment on many aspect of their lives, without really knowing them as an adult in their own right.
    But that was quite the stinging comment he made, so I understand your reaction.

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    1. Too true Lily. I remember the first time he made the comment of "I didn't raise you to...." I snorted and just said "You didn't raise me, full stop".

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  5. Understandable reaction Jamie, but I agree he didn't say it to be mean, that shit just fell out of his mouth before his brain kicked into gear, he probably realised to late what he had said, we all have blond moments now and then.:)

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    1. kinda describes every conversation I have with him. But I actually think this once he was actually trying to be nice, rather than usual.

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  6. You so don't need your dad in your life.

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    1. True. But a part of me wants him to make that break, and not me.

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  7. I'm not really in a position to comment here, my parents stayed together until the death of my mother but here goes. Just because this guy is your biological dad, do you really need to have any contact with him? Like you say, you have the family around you that you have chosen and surely these are the people that care about you and should be most important to you. You are better than him.

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  8. It's not necessarily the best thing to pretend that your dad doesn't exist when there's so many people out there that never got the feeling of having a dad, and im sure they would take having an asshole dad over not having one at all. People yell at other people because they care for one another; find something you two can relate with and work from there. Doesn't have to be over the telephone but rather a well thought out email. Family is the most important thing in life and if you disagree with a family member work on a common solution. Your brave and it sounds like your doing alright. Keep it up

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    1. Perhaps I can sell him on Ebay. To tell the truth I would rather none at all to him. I have a dad, but my biological father.... yeah, family is complicated.

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  9. Jamie, some people may never change, but don't allow anyone else's behaviour to turn you bitter. Your dad most probably sees you as a young man getting on in life and has the guilt of knowing that he did not play his part, so he feels awkward when he talks or sees you. Let it be his problem and not yours. I wouldn't be surprised if he purposely mention things like that, just to get a bad reaction from you, so he can feel better.

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    1. You may be onto something there RPD.

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