I really wish I did. I mean it would be wonderful to believe there was an ultimate evening out in the world. It would be wonderful to know that bad people meet bad ends, but we all know it just does not happen. I think that is the true attraction of religion. Some belief that bad people cannot flourish and good people do. I think there is a comfort in Karma that if we do everything right then bad things won't happen to us.
I somehow don't think I will be buying this:
At our campus there is a "How not to get raped" instructions going around. It has raised a lot of very angry voices on both sides. Some people insist that it makes women aware of the dangers surrounding them, I disagree. I think women know the dangers that surround them. I think it gives young boys a check list for when it is okay to rape. It sends the wrong message. It says that it is the responsibility of the woman not to be raped, NOT the responsibility of a man not to rape.
Not long ago one of my friends was a victim of date rape. She did not go to the police. She did not go to the doctor. She hid in her room for days, and only a couple of us know what happened. One of my friends told her at the very least she should tell her mother, maybe get some counselling. The first words out of her mother's mouth : "What were you wearing?" Now I would like to think that this is just a horrible example of parenting, but I think it shows the way society is convincing even women that rape victims are responsible (at least in some part) for their own attacks.
I have heard it argued many times that if a women points to the man and yells raped that he is assumed guilty. Only 3% of rapists ever serve a day in jail. Does that sound like innocent men are being railroaded? I am not saying an innocent man being blamed for rape has never happened. But look around at the women you know and know have been raped, and then look around at the men you know and how many have been accused of rape. Is it anywhere close to the same? I'm guessing probably not. In short, if you think innocent men are the true victims when a woman is raped, I'm thinking you are a misogynistic douche.
I really hope no one is offended here, and I thought long and hard whether to publish this or not, but fuck it all, it is my blog after all
I somehow don't think I will be buying this:
At our campus there is a "How not to get raped" instructions going around. It has raised a lot of very angry voices on both sides. Some people insist that it makes women aware of the dangers surrounding them, I disagree. I think women know the dangers that surround them. I think it gives young boys a check list for when it is okay to rape. It sends the wrong message. It says that it is the responsibility of the woman not to be raped, NOT the responsibility of a man not to rape.
I have heard it argued many times that if a women points to the man and yells raped that he is assumed guilty. Only 3% of rapists ever serve a day in jail. Does that sound like innocent men are being railroaded? I am not saying an innocent man being blamed for rape has never happened. But look around at the women you know and know have been raped, and then look around at the men you know and how many have been accused of rape. Is it anywhere close to the same? I'm guessing probably not. In short, if you think innocent men are the true victims when a woman is raped, I'm thinking you are a misogynistic douche.
I really hope no one is offended here, and I thought long and hard whether to publish this or not, but fuck it all, it is my blog after all
Jamie, great post... My ex husband raped me a little over four years ago... I went to my dr, I didn't press charges until a year later and a man who I thought of as my best friend asked me "what did I expect for letting my ex into to see his daughter"?.... I was angry and I said.. Not that... I did not expect to be raped.. I did not ask for it, I did nothing. He and I no longer talk. Men do not get what they do to a woman when they rape her... they nearly destroy her. I am a strong woman and it has taken me a very long time to get to where I am. Great post!!!
ReplyDeleteDoes that list really need to be published?
ReplyDeleteAs a victim of rape, I was appalled when one of my female friends stated that if a woman got into a car with a man she didn't know very well and he raped her, then it was her fault...she's now an ex friend.
I for one am glad you posted this. Very well said.
So sorry Lily. I cannot imagine what that did to you. But yeah, I have to admit there are some areas where opinion of a person means I cannot look at you as a friend. That would be one.
DeleteGreat post Jamie. Like you said it is your blog first of all. And secondly, you didn't say anything disrespectful. Totally agree with you about karma. It would be nice to believe that life works that way but it doesn't. When I wrote a post not too long ago about life not being fair and karma being a bullshit concept, it made me wonder if I were too cynical, but I think it is just being realistic.
ReplyDeletePlease share a link.
DeleteHere you go Jamie: http://onebigmistakeandsome.blogspot.fr/2013/02/only-count-on-yourself.html
ReplyDeleteNo man on earth can ever have any excuse for raping a woman. And the problem lies with him and not her. I know there are women who dress in provocative ways but that is no excuse at all. Even if a woman was to parade the streets of London fully naked - legs at quarter to 3 - that is still no excuse to rape her.
ReplyDeleteToo many people focus on what women should be doing (and I do understand that women ought to be careful and protect themselves) but it is high time that we start focusing on the men who are committing these serious criminal offences. Remember what happened in India to that woman on the bus. They should not get away with it and it will continue to happen if there is no real consequence.
Great post Jamie, it is your blog and shout it out, I say.
This college rape book needs to go into the bin if the rest of it is like the page you published.
Nice post Jamie! There is nothing more disgusting on the face of the earth than a rapist or child molester. When I read that list I thought it was a joke because it addresses rapist or potential rapist directly. It's useless really, it's like giving an alcoholic a list of things to avoid doing and not provide the help and resources they really need.
ReplyDeleteSexual deviancy is a serious problem that needs to be addressed by the medical community. Some of it stems from psychological issues in early childhood such as molestation or even being a victim of rape themselves. There are many underlying issues that can lead to this disgusting behavior by men and women.
When it comes to blaming the victim for her style of dress or appearance it is nothing more than minimizing the crime and displacing the blame. Men and women need to be responsible for their own actions. Women should feel free to dress or look as they please without being harassed at every turn by some sexual deviant.
is that flier a spoof on the one at yr school? if not- i think whomever made it was a sick fuck. punchfest is in order.
ReplyDeleteeither way, karma is a loose speculation. just don't be am awful person. or a rapist. gross.
i only know of one woman who was sexually abused/raped/incessed who told any authority. the rest of us either couldn't or did too late. and some startling number like 60% of women have been through it. and that's who admits it. what about the percentage who repressed it? and the dudes who have been abused- it may not be like the campus-rape poster crap, but people get sexually assaulted too much for it to go around being made light of.
thanks for the share. keep writing!
If a woman decides to walk around in her birthday suit I say NO man has the right to touch her, NO man!
ReplyDelete3%, Christ. I wish she'd gone to a doctor after it happened. People like that guy shouldn't walk the streets.
ReplyDeleteWomen should be able to wear what the hell they want to. They're expressing themselves through clothes; not pulsing out invitations to get raped. It's putting responsibility on the victim if clothes are brought into it. It's also attempting to control what women are wearing, which is very backward way of thinking.
I hope your friend gets the help she needs. I can't even imagine the horror of what she's been through :/
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDelete