Wednesday, June 26, 2013

The push to have children

In many ways I got lucky there.  Gay couples do not have that push to have children that straight couples do.  Sure, people will say things like "It's a shame you can't have kids", which is bullshit, but I generally do not reply.  Why?  Because people look at you like this:
When you say "I don't want kids."

I mean, how is it possible?  What kind of a monster are you?  Having children what the best thing I ever did with my life.  It is what we are put on this planet to do.  What is your ultimate purpose if not to breed?  

How selfish!

The argument to have kids tends to be linked to a lot of other societal bullshit too.  Like why gay's should not marry , or abortion should be illegal.  Let's examine a few:
It's different when it is your own: Yep, I love my brothers, best part: I give them back at the end of the day.

Your child could grow up to cure cancer: Sure, or be the next Adolph Hitler... the possibilities are endless.
People like you should have kids... wait... shouldn't people who WANT to have kids have kids?  And people who don't should NOT?
You were a baby once,too.  I can't even argue this logic:P
What about the family name?  Yeah, I don't think this argument is really valid anymore.
Who will take care of you when you are old?  Yeah, and it is those NOT having children who are selfish.  Reality check:Unconditional love is supposed to be something a parent gives, not expects back.  Have you ever MET a fucking teenager?
Yeah, I want this taking care of me in my old age.
What if your parent's hadn't had kids?  Ummm, then I would not be here... And?  Do you really think I am that big of an egomaniac that I think the world would be missing a major component without me?
The only reason to get married is to have children.  WRONG, children are not even part of the marriage contract.  
It's all worth it: TO YOU!  Good for YOU*
The biological clock is ticking- Really?  Because going out and having a kid is something you should do just in case you may want kids one day?
You change your mind... see above.
If everyone didn't have kids the human race would die out.... over 7 billion people on the planet, I think we're doing okay (if you don't count over-multiplying)
The bible.... yeah, let's not finish that one.
You forget the pain of labour and birth.... Does anyone really think this is what stops people from having kids?
People who don't want kids are selfish...  Well, I'm actually good with that.  Yes, I do not want kids because I feel they would get in the way of my goals.  Is that not an excellent reason NOT to have kids?
You aren't a real adult until you have kids... another thing I am good with.
Children are a woman's (person's) greatest achievement... How sad that we are still children that the best thing they will ever be is a baby machine.
Don't you want to give your parent's grandchildren?  Ummm, why?  They chose the size of their family, why should they have a say in mine?
IT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB IN THE WORLD!  Well, fuck me, I agree it is ONE of the most important jobs in the world.  Like a brain surgeon, maybe it is time we realize not everyone is qualified and leave it to those who are willing, able, and wanting to take the time to do the job well.

What's the matter, don't you like kids?  Some of them.  I like that I give them back too.
The children are our future.  Yep, and there are more than enough to keep up the species.  We are in no danger of extinction through lack of breeding.
Don't you want genetic immortality?  Nope, I am not egotistical enough to think my genes offer so much more than everyone else's that humanity somehow needs it.

Nothing better than New baby smell.... well new car smell is pretty fucking awesome too;)
Aren't you curious to see what they would look like?  Wow, because nothing says great parenting like the excuse that you were just curious.

My all time fave was not on there though:

"But being a parent was the best thing I ever did in my life," or "I only wish I could have kids"


  1. Jamie, I don't think everyone should have children... only if you want them... It is a tough job and yes... have people not seen teenagers.

    I love my two daughters, I didn't think I would make it through my first daughter being a teenager... it took me 22 years to want another one... now she is a pre teen... oh my... lol

    I think it is an individual choice and nobody should judge someone for not wanting them...

    Great and truthful post :)

  2. Hmmm, I'm torn between what smells best. New car smell, or new baby smell...nope, still can't decide.

    Selfish? Isn't HAVING children one of the most selfish acts that we will ever do as human beings? Most of the things on that list, are about benefiting the self, for example, having someone to look after you in old age. Is that not selfish?

    There is no book that says that we all need to feel that maternal/paternal urge. Not everyone has a biological clock. I'm one of those whom if I could, I'd have a whole brood but doesn't mean I don't respect the rights of others not to have kids.

    Very well said Jamie. :)

  3. New car doesn't poop .. I am going with new car smell personally :) great post

  4. Very good post. It would have made me terribly, terribly sad if I went through life without having children, but that's just me. I don't go about telling others what to do with their lives (unless they ask for advice). Children are not for everyone and that's just how it is.

    Also, marriage is definitely not just for having kids. I can't believe that some people actually believe that. What about women over forty-five? What about infertile couples, should they not be allowed marry? What about people who don't want children? Having children being a requisite for being able/allowed to marry is the stupidest argument I've ever heard.

    That picture with the woman holding her baby by the leg infuriates me every time I see it. I hope the baby was taken away from her.

  5. Thanks for leaving the link to this Jamie. We live in a world where there are thousands of children living on the streets with no means of support. Others living in care homes waiting to be adopted. Many more living in family homes being abused. We should be concentrating on getting their lives in order before we start looking at forcing people to have more children on this earth.
    As you can see, not everyone should have had children in the first place otherwise the above would not be happening. When someone states 'I do not want to have children' their wish should be respected. After all, it's not as if they are asking you to have their kids for them.
    Hope you have a great and Happy New Year :)