Worst sleep ever

I don't know why. I was hot then cold, then hot then cold... Leg spasms, and woke up twice to weird fucking dream. One was, of all the stupid things, getting out of the car. I had a dream that I got out of my car. But could not get passed the car on the other side's mirror. So I cross to the passenger side, same thing. I go back to the driver's side the car is even closer and I can't open the door far enough to get back in and find another spot. I'm just rapped and frustrated waiting for someone to come and move. Yeah, it does not take a psychology major to figure out I am stressed about getting intoy program. And if I choose a wrong move I could be stuck. Just waiting with nowhere to go. Cs lucky he is working afternoons, by the time he got to bed I managed maybe another two hours and I was back up. I'm highly caffeinated right now. I hate waiting. I hate feeling like there is nothing I can do. Just wait and hope for the best. So this is not a total bitch session...I thought this was funny, true story from the weekend My mother was giving her email address over the phone. She gets to the letter "n" and the guy repeats it back as an "m". My mother was like "no N as in..." and there was panic as her mind failed to find an n-word, then she blurted out "necrophilia". As my mother explains it, she did not want the guy to think she is an idiot because she blanked on an "N" word. No now he just thinks she's someone who has words like that just popping into her head. It's official. I AM the normal one in my family. Scary thought.

Flash

So, I come in from work to find a one eyed man in my bed. Okay, technically he still has two eyes, but one was bandaged up. It seems he was "flashed" which is like radiation burn on your eye. Sounds painful, right. Well, while he slept all the blisters apparently break, and the under layer of the eye is exposed. Gross, right? Well c wears contacts. So when the irritation started and he rubbed his eyes in his sleep the contact jammed up under the lid. Let's just say he won't be wearing contacts for a few days. In the mean time he has to choose between being blind as a bat, or wearing his prescription safety glasses (yeah there's a look). He can't put drops in his eye, though I will admit to a few minutes of childish entertainment watching him try. So not even close. He's back to work this afternoon. Hopefully he'll be kinder to his eyes.

Green-eyed monster

Chris got it bad.
Okay....first a question.  If you like someone, you give them your number, and they call you back almost a YEAR later for the first time, how enamored are you with this guy?... Yeah, so not the way to anyone's heart, or hell even into their pants.

This guy calls me out of the blue.  We were watching a movie.  I did not even remember who he was.  Then he admits it's been a while.  So I think back to last year.  March I think.  Yeah, dude, so not cool. So, so, so not cool.
But what surprised me was how bent out of shape C got.  All pissed off that I gave him my number eons ago.
I am so not a jealous person.  I've never gotten the whole jealousy thing.  Yes, C, the truth is I have *gasp* dated.  I have given guys my number, and I have exes.  Deal with it.
Officially it's been over a year since I met C.  And we got off to a rocky start.  But I'm in now.  So I think at this stage he can put jealousy away.  Because instead of chuckling over a social retard together and a good night he gets to fight with me.  Well done, Einstein.

Working 62 hours this week.  Quite different from last year's reading week which was marked with ridiculous amounts of alcohol, oh, yeah, and Chris.

I suck

   I admit I read a blog today that made me embarrassed and a little ashamed of myself.  Taking my brother to a carnival we passed a van in underground parking that left one of it's side doors WIDE open.  I made a joke, seeing the portable DVD player on the back of the passenger seat, "That won't be there for long."  Part of me thought to close the door, but then I thought if someone comes by they are going to think I'm breaking into the van or something, so I did nothing.  I walked by.  An hour later, coming back I saw the door still open, minus the DVD player and god knows what else.  Today I read about someone else putting themselves out there to protect her fellow human, despite what others thought, the risk to herself.  I suck.  Next time I am going to try to think about how that family is going to feel coming back to the van.  How bad it would suck if it was me.  How shitty I would feel if I was the kid who accidentally left the door open.  How I could have made a difference.
   Thanks Alex.  

Sage advice for Valentine's Day from an expert

   I was at my Nonna's on Sunday.  Whole family thing.  My cousin was lamenting that his most recent crush had friend-zoned him.  He asked her out to be told she didn't like him "that way".  So he was trying to drum up ideas that would "remind" her that he was still interested if she changed her mind, but without creeping her out too much.  

   Then came the sagest words from the most unlikely source:  "There is a fine line between persistence and restraining orders."  We were laughing, but then CJ got this dead serious look on his face, apparently really mad we were taking his serious advice as so funny.  "Trust me, I know."  His 12 year old face so intense.

   "And how would you know?" I asked.

   "I watch a lot of judge shows." 

This week sucks

I feel a bit overwhelmed at the moment.  C's been on afternoons, which is hell on my sleep patterns.  C gets home around quarter to one, takes a shower, and by time he is done, I am usually wide awake with maybe two hours of sleep.  Now sometimes this can be a good thing, depending on C's mood.  If he's up for it than there is a really simple solution that sends us both to sleep afterwards.  But this week he's got a cold and has been beat by the time he gets home.  Which pretty much leaves me laying wide awake for hours.  And that leaves me cranky and more high strung than I usually am.
   Guelph and Montreal schools have both, so far, contacted my references.  For some reason rather than relax me, it has been making me even more tense.  I applied to five, yes, five programs.  And yes, I know how stiff the competition is, but in my head I guess I was expecting at least a few more shots at the placements.  My old boss told me that realistically, I was not taking into account the number who go to other schools, go to states, have their student visa denied, run out of money, or just plain flunk out.  Which I suppose is true.  The funny thing is, The ones that are not really inquiring are not really the ones I want to go to.  Calgary would be okay (actually C would love it). But Saskatoon? God fucking forbid Charlottetown?  4000 students in total?  You gotta be shitting me.  In fact the population of the fucking "city" is barely larger than the number of students in my current University.  No offence to anyone in PEI.  Just.... yeah, I could so not live in a city like that.  And C would never find work there.  Worse came to worse he said he'd just take a camp job in Alberta and then take his time off with me, but seriously, that would blow.
   So why apply?  I thought of it as my safety school.  So what does it mean when your safety school has basically indicated their lack of interest?  That means if you get an interview prepare to kiss ass.  No second shots are likely to be forthcoming.
   Anyway, here is me, in limbo.  LONGEST SEMESTER EVER!  Reading week coming up.  I've been promised some over time for reading week if I want it.  Which I kind of do, because I need the money.

One good thing this week:  Tuition refund!  Thank you Dalton McGuinty :D
That and my full time hours this summer may mean another debt free school year.

Good weekend

So Friday C gets ready to go jam with a friend of his.  Now he has not been playing at all lately.  So the prep to this took changing strings, not just on one guitar, like the one he was going to use on Saturday.  No, that would just make fucking sense.  Instead he changes strings on all four of them.  Yeah, four fucking guitars.  Do you know what it is like to hear someone tuning four guitars (including a 12 string)?  It is like being locked in a discordant version of auditory hell.  Then it gets to start all over again once the strings have stretched.  Then one last time before putting each of them away.  Now don't get me wrong.  I love music.  But by the time C actually played his lucky date for Saturday, I was so thoroughly through with the sound of guitar.  Why would one need four guitars you might ask, or maybe it is just me.  I really don't get it.  Nor do I get why the name of a guitar manufacturer makes a difference, or where it is made.  It's wood and strings, right?  No, no it's not.  It is apparently like a dick war.  Guitarists all whipping them out and bragging goes to who has the best.
   Anyway, yeah, I don't get it, but Chris was in an amazing mood, so who am I to shit on it?  He was going to spend a Saturday tattooing and playing guitar, which is pretty much like his perfect day.  And he has not done it for months, so I sure as hell don't begrudge him time with his friend.  And he drew out this amazing tattoo his friend asked him for.  it's like this huge dragon that is going to start on his chest, down his back and side and  ass.  Going to take C months to do it.
   As for me.... one of my friend's husband turned forty, Jake's sister, and Jake was down for the party from school, so I went there.  Amazing weather for February it actually ended up as a barbeque.  Coolers full of beer, hot tub.  It was pretty fun.  I know it seems weird that we would have this great time at someone's 40th Birthday.  But Steve is about the coolest forty year old on the planet.  He married Kay five years ago, when she was 18.  I know, you think....little creepy.  I think most people did given that Steve is older than her mother.  But she met him through... well really complicated back story, but her daughter's grandfather is in the same band with Steve.  Whenever anyone says anything about their age gap Kay's standard reply is "Yeah, but it's okay because he is really immature."  Which is actually bang spot on.  I don't mean immature as in childish, but he is very young in how he thinks, how he acts, his humor.  Within 15 minutes of talking to this guy you do not think "shit, he is my parent's age".
   Seeing Jake was cool too.  It's weird not to have him around whenever we want to hang out, or whenever I get bored.  Have you ever said something and forgotten all about it?  So Jake says :"You owe me fifty bucks."
   "Why?"
   "Do you remember when Tony moved in with Dennis you said and I quote:  "I'd never move in with somebody I knew for less than a year."  And I bet you fifty bucks that you would be playing house with someone long before that."  It's hardly long before a year.  So I am not paying him shit.
   All in all a pretty awesome Saturday.  Sunday C and I biked on the Bruce Trail.  I forget how much I like biking until I'm actually doing it.  Yesterday my legs were fucking KILLING me.  Yeah, I think I need to bike more often.