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Monday, November 21, 2011

I'm sure he's harmless.... no really.

BBGs mentioning her having latex gloves brought this to mind.

Cleaning out C's car.  Pull everything from the trunk to vacuum it out.  I pull out:
A chainsaw, two baseball bats (no balls or gloves), duct tape, several pairs of latex gloves, extra large garbage bags and a trench shovel.  I told C if the cops ever pull him over they won't even need a body.  Now he has a feasible explanation for each of these strange items to find in a trunk.  And one or two... okay.  But all those combined....
The chainsaw: he maintains the property for his landlords, and the first chainsaw from the garage and it pissed C off he had to buy another.  So he figures his trunk is safer.  The big, and I mean huge, garbage bags. because the tenants are filthy dirty ass holes who leave their shit outside of the garbage bins and on a regular basis the cats in the neighbourhood rip open the garbage bags.  Guess that explains the gloves, although his excuse was in case his car breaks down and he need to fix it, he doesn't want to get grease on his hands.  Duct tape... well that is just good Canadian sense at work.  And a shovel, well Canadian winters, a trench shovel folds down  to trunk size.  The baseball bats?  Even C was stumped to come up with an explanation.

I just may have to sleep with one eye open.


7 comments:

  1. If I didn't know any better that C is his real name, I could have sworn you were describing the trunk of Norman Bates.

    OMG, Jamie sweety ... don't ever, ever, EVER, piss him off!

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  2. lmao!!!! creeeeeeeeepy!

    maybe you should get a tracking device on him ;)

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  3. That's too funny. I'm sure he's really harmless. :)

    Adult Student

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  4. I would worry about the baseball bats O_o


    and do that sleep with one eye open :)

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  5. I am a big user of LOL. But this post is not - like some of your other commenters think - one of them.

    People can have a lot of excuses for a lot of things but there is usually something that trips them up. In this case, it is the baseball bats.

    Remember, nobody ever expects it to be somebody close to them. Don't appear afraid to them but definitely keep an eye on this person.

    Seriously!

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  6. Serial killers do exist, but I'm sure he's not thinking of killing you, just probably other random people....I mean you never know when you might need a baseball bat, they do come in handy when committing acts of vandalism && for defense most of all, you never know when you just might have to beat the hell out of those filthy dirty asshole tenants of yours...just saying

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  7. I assure you he IS totally harmless. I simply found the collection funny:D

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