Wednesday, April 20, 2011

It will be worth it all.

I am an impatient soul. I know, I know. You are all shocked. Say it ain't so, J. I like being comfortable, then I can relax, but if any little thing upsets my schedule, good or bad, I become very uncomfortable and I just want to MOVE. "You sure you were never diagnosed with ADHD as a kid?" he asked me last Saturday when I finally got him up. I was bored, and what to do. I'm not going to snoop through his shit, so I don't want to try to find a movie to watch.

The poor people yesterday who had to sit through the exam from hell. My ears hurt afterwards from pressing my hands to drown out the sounds of other's being so inconsiderate as to use writing impliments, pushing those noisy fucking buttons on calculators and you know, breathing. Fuck you all and stop your noise while you insist on being on my planet. Unresonable anger at them, that was actually more at me, but directing outwards always feels better. It is easier to feel bad afterwards for being unreasonably angry iwth others than to admit you are fucking pissed off at yourself for being so fucking stupid. So I have decided I just need to shake it off. One lousy mark is not going to totally fuck me over. I got through the course through a miracle named Mommy and picking her genius brain.

So later on today I am going back to his place. Only training today and testing for him tomorrow, so no work. His testing requires no studying, and he is far more easy-going when it comes to life in general. Much more a "go with the flow" attitude I wish I had. So I am going over to his apartment. It is a shithole, to tellt he truth. In one of the worst parts of Hamilton, and if you have any idea what that means.... that is saying something. I hate and love going there all at once. I hate the neighbourhood, and just the general area. And though his place is clean, all around is filthy people. The hallway reeks of dope and stale cigarette smoke and booze and some smell my mind refuses to accurately pinpoint. He knows its a shit hole, but it is that, or ... well I'm sure my parents won't mind me taking him back to my room. Yeah, okay. I'm sure he, who has not yet come out ot his own parents, would be comfortable with that, even if my parents were.

1 comment:

  1. I hope he is well worth it sweet heart.
    If he breaks tour heart, ima break his face.
    (sorry, that's the gangsta in me).

    I still can not imagine a scenario in your house, with him. Timing is everything. :)