No, the other one. Love. How do we ever really know when we love someone? I have friends who I love like crazy, and tell them so, all the time. I very comfortable letting the people in my life know how I feel about them. Until it comes to the one I am sleeping with. Why? Because I am not sure myself. I know that the friends I love hold a certain part of my heart, and they always will. That if I don't see them in ten years or have a horrible fight, that there will still be a tie that will never allow me to be indifferent to them. I will always be happy for their triumphs and cry for them, and with them if they need a shoulder.
I guess that is part of it. When do you want to leave yourself that open to the one you are already at your most vulnerable in other ways. And what do you do if you move on? How do you watch someone you love move on without you?
Anyway. We are planning a trip. ROAD TRIP. It was supposed to be me, Chris, my best friend Jake, Ali and her boyfriend taking his car, possibly Alex with her boyfriend, and meeting my friend T and his boyfriend from Toronto. Well, ALex and her boyfriend are out (not really a big surprise). Ali's boyfriend can't go, so she is driving with us. So what that leaves us with is Me, C, Jake and Ali. In one car. One problem, okay several. Jake and Ali HATE each other. Not usually a huge deal while in a crowd, but 5 + hours in a car together may be a stretch. Now C and Ali don't exactly get on well either. She still has issues with our break up long ago, and though we have gotten over it, she never has. She'll be nice enough, but the ice under it is very obvious. And Jake HATES Chris, and vice versa. Oh, won't this be a cosy little piece of heaven? In a car with 3 people who despise each other, and I am the only friend they have in common. Why did I think this was a good idea?
I hate emotions when it comes to a relationship. They always make me feel weak and that I'm pretty much putting a target on myself to get my heart broken. It's rare for me to actually mean it when I say I love a boyfriend.
ReplyDeleteFor those I actually fell for, I hate watching them be happy without me. Granted I always wish for them to be happy, but I don't want another person to be doing what I see as my job. I want them to be happy with me.
Have fun on your road trip. :p
Love is the hardest thing. You have to take that risk FOR love. If you really feel like you love someone then let it be known. If you need to second guess yourself then just wait. It's not worth the hassle of drama when your falling in love. The drama comes after. If someone moves on then someone moves on. It wasn't right. You really can't watch it. If someone moves on without me then I cut them off completely. It's MY way of getting over something. It all depends on how you handle the situation. Love is the most unexpected thing ever and will leave you guessing and wondering. You will never know if you've found love until the day you die and your standing next to that person whom you spent the great and the horrible with and has stuck by you and whom you've stuck by.
ReplyDeleteHey strangers;) I actually have never bothered telling a boyfriend that I loved them. I had one tell me once. a very awkward icky moment. We broke up like 2 days later, because I sat there for a minute as he waited for me to say it back, and I had no idea how NOT to say it without looking like a total dick. I did not succeed obviously.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sig, the trip should be memorable if nothing else. I'm thinking of starting drinking early:P
oh have fun just cuddle with Chris maybe?
ReplyDeleteIt would be totally fun. Drink early. Pretend drunken stupor. and watch. hehe
ReplyDeleteYou can go needy on C if you want to, just this time. :D
Pre game that sonuvabitch!
ReplyDeleteI agree with psycho - get drunk and just watch the show.
ReplyDeleteAs to the other thing I guess if your not sure then the answer is you don't ? Well maybe not yet.
I know what you mean. I tend to overanalyze relationships though XD
ReplyDelete~Stephanie
I know what you mean. What is it like to "LOVE"? I've had crushes, but that's not "LOVE". I imagine it's like a really really really great/awesome/amazing friendship where two people "get" each other. Like that HBO promo for Weeds/The Big C where they take turns telling about themselves and end it by both saying, "You get me". But what do I know. I hope your road trip went/goes well.
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